Lose Control
by adevotedreader
Summary: They had one night to discover each other. One night where it would be okay, but they had to remember that it was only for tonight.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Evanescence or Star Trek. As such, don't sue me for using them as my play things.**

**AN: This is my first foray into Star Trek fanfiction so please be kind.**

The door to Kirks quarters was thrown open with some force and in stumbled two people. Both were preoccupied with the feel of the other person and were completely unconcerned with the path that they took to the bedroom. They both wanted this and were sure that although it might not be the right decision to make, they were going to go on anyway. As they backed into the general area of the bedroom, they bumped into pieces of furniture and walls, but neither cared. This was their only chance and they weren't going to waste a minute of it.

Although some would bet that this should have never happened or that it should have happened sooner, the two people who knew that this would be the only time were sure that no matter the ramifications, this was worth it.

A guttural moan ripped through the air when a searching mouth attacked Kirks neck. In retaliation, he ground his hips up into his first officer. Unprepared for the assault, his normally stoic front was broken when he let out a quiet groan at the exquisite pressure. Arguably having sex with the captain as a very bad idea, but ever since he had first met the man he had been intrigued. Those moments had all led to this. And it didn't really matter what happened in these quarters. It was just for tonight.

_You don't remember my name_

_I don't really care_

_Can we play the game your way?_

_Can I really lose control?_

They made it to the bedroom and immediately set to work on each other's clothes. Hungry mouths rarely left the other person's body. Licking, nipping, sucking. No matter what, they were touching each other in some form or fashion. They didn't so much lay down as fall back onto the bed. There were twin hisses in the air as skin touched skin. Mouths traveled down bodies, touching normally hidden skin; forbidden territories. Hands twisted into hair, holding the mouth in place when a particular erogenous zone was reached. Each tried to memorize the others body. There would be no more time. What they were doing was frowned upon by both cultures, but it felt too good to stop. And it didn't really matter after all; it was just this once.

Normally both were so in control. Neither letting people see them for what they really are. Some came close but there was no one in the end who knew them inside and out. With each other though they could let down their barriers. Relish in being able to give themselves up to someone else, if only for a little while. It was a gamble after all. Once they did this, there was no real turning back. They would each hold the weakest moment in both of their lives. Ready for the plunge?

_Just once in my life_

_I think it's be nice_

_Just to lose control-just once_

_With all the pretty flowers in the dust_

They became familiar with each other. Every spot that made the others breath hitch. Every plane of skin that covered taunt muscle, held in place by apprehension and expectation. It would have been nice to take their time with each other. Give into the fantasies that had been crawling in their heads, but they didn't have that kind of time. It was a rare moment when they weren't needed, and very rarely were they both gone at the same time for an extended period of time. Someone was going to come looking for them soon.

Attention was paid to every place on both bodies, from the top of both heads to the soles of their feet, but both knew that they were going to have to move on soon. Whimpers let out at each turn for when their grinding bodies would move in just the right way, stimulating all the right places. There was no heaven that could beat this moment. No ecstasy better than this. Preparation was fast and silent, only a slight whine at the initial discomfort. Then they were joined. Both held their breath at the excruciating pain and pleasure. Regardless of outcome, this moment would be remembered.

_Mary had a lamb _

_His eyes black as coals_

_If we play very quiet, my lamb_

_Mary never has to know_

The heat and tightness between them was heaven and hell meeting. Slowly setting a rocking motion that would allow both to adjust to the new sensation, a moan was let out when a particular roll of the hips allowed for the delicate pressure against that spot that made his body want to melt. Arching hips pushed up demanding to be met. Harder. Faster. There wasn't time for sweetness or coddling. Let it be memorable. Maybe the motions wouldn't be remembered, but the emotions would be.

Pushing and scraping against each other, they established a rhythm. It was a slow build despite the time that had been spent waiting for this moment. Their movements were practiced in that there was not a moment where they were not in synch. Each push of hips would be met with answering thrusts. Lips met in an effort to stifle the noise that they were making, and to feel the other. The slick bodies met faster. Thrusts became more erratic. So close to completion. So close to rapture. And then it was there. Wave after wave of pleasure that never seemed to end. One orgasm set off the other. Moans and grunts were lost in each other's mouths. Sound swallowed. It wouldn't due for them to get caught now would it.

_Just once in my life_

_I think it'd be nice_

_ Just to lost control- just once _

Harsh pants filled the air along with the scent of sex and sweat. There was no time for the post coital bliss, no time to relish in the others presence. They pulled apart slowly though. The loss between their bodies was felt immediately, as if something that had been missing, but then put in place had been taken away again. It was one thing to miss something and never know what it is, but it is different when you knew what it was and yet not have it. Clothes were gathered, yet Kirk stayed in the bed. It was his quarters after all. For his friend to stay, even for a little while would tempt fate and it would be best not to do that now. Closing his eyes because he did not want to see his lover leave, he sighed.

Bare feet pad against the floor. Zippers were done and boots put on. All of this went on, echoing in the dark and silent room. After several moments though silence fell, complete silence. When he did not hear the door open Kirk began to wonder whether Spock had left and he had not heard, but this was disproved a moment later. A delicate kiss from swollen lips met his own, but he did not respond, just as his first officer knew that he wouldn't. It was a goodbye. It was a thanks. They had both lost control for a little while. Reveled in the freedom. That was over now though because it was just for tonight.

_If I cut you down to a thing I can use_

_I fear there will be nothing good left of you_

**AN: Like I said this is the first time I have written in this fandom, so some comments would be appreciated. With that please review and thank you for reading.**


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